Inocensitive

…High startup costs, but the investment is definitely worth it.  Currently building my Italian princess.  PIECE BY PIECE.

…instead of nightmares, I’ve concluded that it would be more terrifying to have nightBEARS.  Seriously though, if somebody told me a scary story, sure sleeping and being in a bad dream is a bit terrifying, but you don’t actually get hurt.  No physical harm, maybe some psychological trauma, but in the end, you can wake up and you’re all right.  On the contrary, if I was told a scary story and I got nightbears from it, I would: 

a. definitely be in harms way
b. be guaranteed to have psychological trauma
c. have the very high risk of getting mauled by a nightbear(s)
d. have a slim chance of waking up if i was DEAD.
e. Ed McMahon

see, not even Rocky can fight them off.

…I got a bit of Ted Mosby in me.

(no pun intended)

“I know how to burn with passion, hold nothing back for future ration.  Give all you are, do not make haste, savor~ every single taste you get got.  I know how to be controlled, do opposite of what you’re told. BE QUICK, REACT, TO BREAK THE BOX, & turn on cue as your cell door locks behind you.  I know how to be lost in lust, not because you should, but but because you must.  It burns white hot & so clouds the mind, its lightning strike isn’t always kind

~so use me up.”

“Looking to buy a fixie, need a new wheelset as well, preferably deep v style. Would be great to get fully made bike already as I do not know that much about bikes yet and am just getting into the scene. Willing to spend around 350 or so depending on the bike, please email me with a picture and an asking price for the bike. or call (***) ***.**** looking to buy a bike quickly, I have the cash and need a bike badly! Thank you!”

I guess my main gripe about the SD bicycle culture is that there are too many clowns latching onto the fixie scene (see above).  Everybody has their reasons, I’m sure, but the above ad blatantly shows how much of a joke this particular scene has become.  Purely for cosmetic purposes, and the occasional tiring 2 mile ride down the road only to stop for a few hours to do tricks around a fountain.  I’m sorry, I don’t usually get fired up about anything but this is getting ridiculous.  Picture and asking price??  That’s all you want?  “Oh it’s pretty!  I’ll buy it!”   YIKES.

Don’t get me wrong, San Diego is a fantastic bicycle-friendly city.  I encourage more people to get a bicycle and use them as an alternate mode of transportation (it really is like being in 4th grade again!).  But if you aren’t willing to learn about the purpose and significance of what you’re getting into, and just have a whole wad of money laying around and figured, “hey, fixies look cool!  i want all the colors to match!  i guess i’ll just buy one with no will to learn bicycles whatsoever!” and ride it to death without maintaining it, and bringing it to the bike shop to get your tires inflated because you don’t know how to, then quiet frankly sir/madam you don’t deserve to experience the 1:1 ratio of a fixed-gear bicycle.  And while I’m at it, track frames belong in the velodrome, and not on the streets.

Come on!  A bicycle is a mode of transportation!  It’s a tool!  It’s a modern marvel marriage of simplicity and complexity!  It is NOT a fashion statement or accessory!  Also, if you are planning to get into the “scene” do your homework and learn how to do some basic home maintenance so that you don’t keep throwing your money away (unless that’s something you’re into).  Learn the local bicycle laws and be safe too!  Living life on the edge is great, but it wont be so great once you split your dome like a karate chop from Ricky-Oh (more on that on another time).  Look, I have absolutely nothing against fixed-gear bicycles.  There are plenty of benefits to using them but this rant isn’t about the bicycles themselves, it’s just about the mutation of a culture which has sprouted here in SD over recent years, even though fixed-gear bicycles have been around since the late 19th century (they actually were called safety bicycles back then as they replaced the high wheel types as the dangers of riding a GIANT 6’ wheel was too great/awesome).  All I can conclude is: TRENDY TRENDY ATTENTION TRENDY TRENDY. Give it a rest, guys.  Love and respect the bicycle culture and don’t be afraid to embrace your inner child.  And don’t be a snob or a douche just because we aren’t on a fixed-gear.  That’s just straight up IGNANT.

Just you wait, I’m gonna start a trend of my own it’s going to combine Frisbees & hot air ballooning = ULTIMATE HOT FRISBALLOONING.  Document this, as I will refer back to this when I become rich and famous.

Well, I’m spent and I’m glad I got that off my brain cycle.  No if you’ll excuse me I’m going to skid-stop on the rings of Saturn.  OH IT CAN AND WILL BE DONE.

/end rant